Well, it seems my ever present alter ego is present in most of my posts, so much so that people are expressing concern about me. More likely, you are worried about Julie, I mean, she lives with me, in a small space, 24/7, rain or shine. Knowing me as well as I do, I’m sure the “for better or worse” aspects of marriage are always on the scales.
Not really. We check each other and balance it out quite well and happily so. [Julie says: Okay, yes. I have to agree we really do balance each other out and the ‘for better or worse’ certainly goes both ways.]
But, really, I’m not that character!
If you really know me, you know why I’m characterized by the best character in Winnie the Pooh, Tigger. I’m always bouncy, bouncy, fun fun FUN! [Oh you are SO Eeyore and way not Tigger!]
I’m not Tigger?
No, I’m not Tigger, not by a long shot. Julie will tell you that in fact, well, in fact I am Eeyore. <insert dramatic, anticlimactic sound effect here> If you know me, you know why. [See?]
I’ve been asked if I’m depressed (no, I’m not depressed). I’ve been asked if I’m unhappy (no, I’m good). Or simply, “what’s wrong?” (nothing is wrong). Or am I sad (I’m actually quite content). I just happen to be deeply cynical and sarcastic, with a very monotone and dry vocal delivery style. Oh, and I’m sometimes VERY grumpy. [Sometimes?]
My visible response to most situations is rather sedate. I tend to not overly show excitement outwardly (add a drink or cheesecake and that is likely to change). It can confound people until they really know me well. It used to (still does?) drive Julie crazy, as she couldn’t gage my interest levels on so many things. I finally figured out how to describe it to her. [Nope. I got it years ago. You’re just one level down (on my scale) from the average person’s emotions.]
If you are turned up to 11, dial me in at 8
One day, I stumbled across the best way to describe my emotional state. The Brian “Ring of Moods” Ring is a few levels below everyone else’s, at least from an outward reaction perspective. I can be excited, but you might not know it. I can be angry, and you might not know that either. But, when you see me excited, the new “Brian math” will guide to to the point that I’m REALLY excited.
If I’m not being a smart ass or trying to make Julie roll her eyes (a daily effort of mine: make Julie roll her eyes, laugh and smile every day. I consider it a serious win if I can get all three with an “OMG” look thrown in for good measure), then something is definitely wrong.
You can call me Eeyore, but really, I’m just a thinker
Ultimately, I’m very cerebral. I’m a thinker. I’m a pragmatist. I internalize a lot of thought that never makes it out. I’m overly logical.
But, I’m generally happy and enjoying life. I was just mentioning today that even though we’re both working full time, I feel semi-retired, which removes a lot of stress from life. I laugh every day, and I also love every day. I love my wife, my life and the world of possibilities ahead of us. [Yay!]
Are there rain clouds to be found? Sure, I can hypothesize my way deep into the middle of rain clouds. But, without rain clouds, there is no rain, no life giving water falling from the sky to make things grow. Without rain clouds, there are no rainbows (any unicorns are your own, this is a “no unicorn zone“). Without rain, there is no beer.
So, call me Eeyore if you will, I wear it as a badge of honor, proudly. But, when you are sad, I’ll tell you a joke and try to make you smile. When you are down, I’ll be the ray of sunshine trying to help you find the silver lining. When you are hurting, I will be the arms that surround you to keep you safe. I will go to the ends of the earth (which is round, not a flat disk on the back of four elephants riding on the back of a turtle in space) to be supportive and helpful.
I’m much happier than I might appear. I do appreciate people being SURE I’m OK. And, I am, worry not! [He really is and I love him through all his moods and cartoon characters.]